i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
