we have pet lesbian snakes
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
