Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize