I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
