I heard we made out
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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