so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
