If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
