highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Congratulations! We have a period
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