You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
