Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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