So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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