I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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