you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
