so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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