i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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