It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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