dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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