plz talk dirty to me
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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