we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize