I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Randomize