is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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