You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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