Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize