Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Hippo gnu deer
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
