it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
