Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
