Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Randomize
