Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
