is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Randomize
