More tranny stories later!
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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