I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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