i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
