Have you finally orgasmed yet?
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
