But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Randomize
