Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
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