i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
