it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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