okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
