i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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