so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
