when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize