some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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