Joe is yelling at the trees again.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
