Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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