I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I puked a lego.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
