So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
