He is an equal opportunity slut.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
