also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
