We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
bring money and cleavage
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
