I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
