Tell her she can't have a vagina
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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