mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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