He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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