Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize
