Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
