Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
