That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
