I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
